Yesterday, New York’s gay marriages began. How many gay marriages were performed that day? An unheard of 823. An out of those, only seven involved priests being held at gunpoint while my catechism teacher had those “Clockwork Orange” pliers put in her eyeballs. Even Michele Bachmann likes those odds.
The first couple married at Manhattan's City Hall. Adorable! It sure is a shame this is going to cause another 9/11. Or a hurricane. Or whatever's supposed to happen.
No, in actuality, the only danger anyone faced yesterday was a brain aneurysm trying to figure out why the hell Maggie Gallagher and the other anti-gay protestors took their march from outside Governor Cuomo’s office…to outside the United Nations. Reminded me of this scene from “Spinal Tap”—
It was unexplained during their speeches why this was their final destination, but there you go. Maybe Maggie was dying for a Strawberry Quik, and that was the closest Duane Reade drugs.
Ladies, this is not a fashion show.
So, the protestors on the side of the Nat’l Org. for Marriage found themselves in a further sticky situation when they got marching buddies in the form of the Westboro Baptist Church, those oh-so-hissable silent movie villains who are now on everybody’s shit list (they’ve been harrassing gays for years, but only recently got attention thanks to the “protests” at funerals of fallen soldiers and slain little girls. But hey, I care not. It’s the end, not the means).
Funniest part of the protests: Maggie Gallagher and Sen. Ruben Diaz having to interrupt their anti-gay hollering with outbursts at the Westboro folk to clarify that “You are not with us!” Westboro, your anti-gay level’s at like a 10, we’re gonna need you at a 5 or 6 if you’re gonna march with us. Mmkay?
The New York Times has a cute little think piece about how the rise of legal gay marriages is having unforeseen consequences on gay youth: it has unleashed the pushy New York mothers upon their unsuspecting sons and daughters. The men pictured above may be gay, but they are also young twenty-something men with naught on their brains but cock, freedom and freedom of cock. Now, they’re both hearing it from their mothas about “when they’re gettin’ maaaarried.”
There really is no pleasing us.
2 comments
Michael Russo says:
Jul 25, 2011
Pushy New York mothers! Are they ever! Slap on Italian to that statement and it is one crowded kitchen. Haha. The Westboro Baptist Church is starving for attention – in all venues possible. They need to be slapped down in any which way possible (puts hand to forehead in shame that it had to go down like that, but a major LOL). I agree with the Strawberry Quik theory…for sure.
Another wonderful read Adam! I basically laughed at the whole article — the giggles continue to pervade my morning, afternoon and evening!
Adam says:
Jul 26, 2011
I can only imagine how crowded your kitchen is! Yeesh!