I don’t want to talk about the word everyone in Washington speaks of: Hope. Speaks of, but does nearly everything in its power to extinguish.
I want to speak of a stronger word, a word that has a vanishing significance in Modern America: Honor.
Certainly honor has a place in today’s society on flags or soccer moms’ bumper stickers, but as far as practical daily use goes, honor has about as much relevance as the cotton gin.
I am not a soldier. I never have been, and, barring a reinstatement of the draft, probably never will be. That’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s just a statement of fact. So, when the Supreme Logical Alien come from the Deep Cosmos arrives on Earth, peers into my thoughts and sees my present inner conflict, it will wonder in what I assume to be its brain why the failure of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’s repeal measure has affected me so much this morning.
To bring you up to speed, the Wall Street Journal reports today that Sens. Carl Levin and John McCain, as we speak, are hard at work making Keebler Fudgy Stripe cookies. Did I say Keebler Fudgy Stripe cookies? I meant stripping DADT repeal language out of the Defense Authorization Bill. Which is, of course, very bad news, unless you’re a fossilized white guy desperate to prove senility hasn’t wrapped its sinewy Madonna-arms over the rationality and decency centers of your brain, pulling them into her bone-cold and inescapable embrace. Then, today might be a good day for you. But let’s be honest, I could have achieved the same effect by granting you the gift of a regular bowel movement. Same happifying effect, and everyone gets to keep their jobs.
“But,” you say, “but corn-holing and doughnut-drinking soldiers can keep their jobs if they want.” Many do. I know several gay soldiers who have told me they wouldn’t come out even if the law went away. ”Again,” you ask, “what is the big deal, then?”
For one, it gives the soldiers the choice of whether they want to share that part of their lives or not. The choice is theirs, not anyone else’s.
“But,” you say, “but what about unit cohesion. We’re fighting two wars!” Oh, so now we give a damn about the feelings and wishes of soldiers? It’s a pain in the ass keeping your thoughts to yourself, isn’t it?
“But,” you say, “but most Higher-Up Military Officers have said they would not aggressively pursue enforcement of DADT from this point on. So, aren’t most, if not all, gay soldiers free from this point on?” This will severely cut discharges, yes. But new gay recruits will not be allowed; they’ll be killed in the crib. Discharges will also simply depend on who’s in charge.
And this brings me to the point of honor. The point of why this affects me, a non-soldier.
I will not live on the whims of others. The whim of a military official will not decide the fate of a soldier’s career. The whim of a hospital staff will not decide the entry of a gay partner to a loved one’s bedside. The whim of a hotel receptionist will not decide that I made a mistake in booking a room with a single King bed for my boyfriend and I, and what I really meant to order was two Queen beds. The whim of the people will not decide my social security benefits, whether or not I adopt a child, or even what word I use to call my relationship.
That is called dishonor. It can’t be quantified in a court of law. It shouldn’t be. Honor should live in each of us.
I really can’t blame the Republicans for this. They’ve been steadfast cocksuckers on this issue. They’re pigs. Pigs are pigs. What progress they stand in the way of is between them and the fear-mongering god they made up.
I wholeheartedly blame Obama and Sec. of Defense Gates. They set an impossible deadline of December 1st for the completion of the “study” that would determine whether our dignity was as important as a straight guy’s nervous, puckering asshole. They set the deadline for after the midterm elections when surely we would face a greater GOP threat (That EVERYONE Saw Coming). Even up to a matter of days ago (before Voting Day *cough cough*), Obama and Gates swore this matter would be resolved in the lame duck session of Congress in the coming months. That is now impossible. This was our chance, our ONE chance, for the next two years, for justice. Justice delayed is justice denied.
But make no mistake, Obama and the Dems, disgusted as I am, are our only option. We are truly a captive constituency. Voting for Republicans or not voting at all only digs us deeper. If there was a better option to vote for, I would. If I could vote them into a barrel of snakes, I would.
Also, HRC (the Equal-Sign bumper sticker you might have seen) is to blame. They are the Gay People’s largest lifeline to the White House. They collect truckloads of our money donations. They hold $100-a-plate banquets to congratulate themselves on being masters of our fates. And they take Obama’s promises as good enough. They are the hippie parents that don’t set a bedtime. We must give our donations and support to organizations that don’t wait, they agitate (to quote the magnificent Julian Bond). Organizations like Get Equal.
Of course, before long, before the fireball-star we call the Sun burns out, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell will be gone. But each of the parties that are to blame for today’s shameful display of public service should feel a poisonous guilt every second this law still exists. They should wake up in a cold sweat, never able to rest because a great dishonor continues due to their inaction.
Disgrace. Shame. Dishonor.
These are words that I banish from the hearts and minds of gay people, and I sew into the Halls of Congress. God grant me the distance for my bilious spit to reach across the country and land at their doorstep.
