• Tweet

• Tweet

“Someone is on your side, someone else is not.”

I had myself a big gay day back in November 2008 when I drove to a No on Prop 8 campaign while sobbing to Stephen Sondheim’s “No One is Alone.”  The song, to the uninitiated, is from the musical Into the Woods, and it’s about reconciling yourself with the fact that there are some people out there who want to hurt you, and that’s the way it’ll always be.  It’s a universal song that can be applied to almost every situation, and the lyrics walk a beautiful tightrope that can be taken as sweet or cynical, depending on your day.

I choose to read the song as wise, strong cynicism.  Dry your eyes, child.  A lot of people out there don’t like you, there’s nothing you can do about it, except try to avoid letting them ruin your life.

I stood outside Starbuckses and malls leading up to the Prop 8 vote, talking to people, persuading them to vote it down.  I held signs all day outside voting places on November 4th and made sure people paired their Obama vote with a vote against Prop 8.  I was not alone.

But we failed to stop it.  I failed to stop them.  I had rights, and I lost them.

I thought of this song today when I heard Tony Perkins, of the rabidly anti-gay officially-recognized-as-a-hate-group Family Research Council.  He said that gays want Marriage Equality because we have an emptiness in us.  There’s an emptiness that must be filled by societal acceptance, and we won’t rest until we redefine the norms of culture, et cetera.

The emptiness I see is on the hands of a man and his husband, where rings should be.  The emptiness I see is on the other side of the bed of a lesbian whose spouse has been deported, because as a gay couple she can’t apply for a green card.  The emptiness I see is in a grown man like you, Tony Perkins, who saw the suicides of gay youth, some of them twelve years old, and blamed not bullies like yourself, but gays themselves.  How did he justify this?  Gays insist they were born this way, it isn’t a choice, and that sunk a pall of helplessness so great on these kids’ heads that they killed themselves.  The latest child to kill himself even left a note to his mother that said “Help me, Mom.”

Make no mistake, bad people walk in this world.  They are in this country, they hold high-profile jobs and their crimes are legal.  They are even frequently allowed on “unbiased” news channels like MSNBC and CNN as talking heads for “the other side” of the gay debate.  As if there were two sides to this debate.

I’ve been accused of being too angry on this site.  I believe I am being more than fair, given the rhetoric of this “other side.”  I believe I would be a fool not to be angry.  This is a worldwide issue, and change isn’t going to happen comfortably.  I’m not going to play innocent.  The emptiness is not in us.  The emptiness is in a parent who could hold his child’s gayness against him.  The emptiness is in a grown man who urges his radio listeners to boycott a Star Wars game because it will feature gay characters in it.  (I highly suggest you read his anti-gay Star Wars bulletin– he cannot for the life of him keep straight whether gays are the Rebels or the Empire).

Your life’s work is a sham, Tony Perkins.  I think you’re very sad, and I legitimately believe one day I’ll read in the news that you were beaten to death in a motel by a trick.  I don’t want this to happen.  I’d love it if you were simply arrested on fraud, embezzlement and ethics charges and “forced” to suck cock in prison to remain un-shanked.  You’ll need some hobby in prison.  It’s not like you can find Jesus again.

Until then, with every moment I’ve got, I will fight you and people like you.  You’re not alone, and I’m not either.