Today is a day for schadenfreude! With Amendment 1 in North Carolina stipping LGBT folk of what pitiful few rights they had left, I think it is appropriate to spend today looking at consequences of similar shit situations.
Pull your chair close, children, and listen to a tale of two corrupt men who are currently stewing in their self-made living hells.
Hiram Monserrate, a former New York state senator, representing the prestigious borough of Queens, attacked his girlfriend in a stairwell four years ago. He performed what the papers called a “slash-n-gash” on her.
It's Slash-n-Gash! And I helped!
In early 2010, Monserrate was found not guilty on two accounts of felony assault on Karla Giraldo. He was deemed unguilty of slashing her with broken glass, but was found guilty of a lesser charge of dragging Karla’s bleeding body down a hallway. I’m still unclear on how a jury could surmise that Monserrate dragged her but didn’t slash her. Are they suggesting it’s possible that Karen fell onto an upturned Snapple bottle, and he dragged her to safety?
No, it’s most likely because they lacked in evidence and testimony. Why? Karla may have initially reported the attack, but she ultimately refused to cooperate with the prosecution. Good to see she didn’t let herself grow a victim mentality.
And Mariah Carey as Karla Giraldo
It was a misdemeanor dragging, so Monserrate was allowed to hold his senate seat.
That was, until he lost re-election in 2010. So, we know he had a bad 2010, how was his 2011? Very indictment-y.
Turns out that late in his political career, Monserrate convinced fellow senator Christine Quinn to financially support his $300,000 dream project:
CORRUPTION!
It was called LIBRE: Latino Initiative for Better Resources and Empowerment. A nice, warm and fuzzy inner city project that we can all agree on. Except, it wasn’t. By ‘Latino,’ Hiram meant himself. By ‘better resources,’ he meant siphoning LIBRE’s account to secretly fund and employ his failed 2010 re-election campaign. And by ‘empowerment,’ he meant empower Monserrate.
So, he lost the election, and the corruption was found out. Now, he faces two years in jail. Not for slashing and dragging his weird girlfriend, but for this money thing.
Monserrate was one of the handful of Democrats who ‘stood up for’ traditional marriage and killed a marriage equality bill for New York state in 2009. Well, it’s 2012, New York has marriage equality, he’s out of a job and will spend the next 21 months far from libre.
Who wants lemonade?
The second and final tale is a sad man. Carl Kruger, another former New York senator, also a Democrat, also voted down 2009′s marriage bill. But this is far from some story about a hotheaded local boy besmirching the good name of Queens.
Kruger has plead guilty to corruption and bribery charges, to the tune of $1 million. He used to head the powerful senate finance campaign, where he would accept bribes from health care companies and colluded with lobbyists and assemblymen on various greedy bullshit things and was busted by an FBI wiretap.
He has been sentenced with seven years in prison. His secret boyfriend has been given two years on conspiracy charges.
What’s that? Boyfriend? Voted against gay marriage? Boyfriend?
Yes, the old, fat and sad Mr. Kruger was closeted and used his crooked money to build fabulous wealth to lavish himself and Dr. Michael Turano, a gynecologist, with expensive whatnot. In fact, they were so rich, they didn’t really need to worry about things like health benefits and wills and stuff that being legally married gets you. No, this was much seedier all around.
Kruger moved in, part and parcel, into Dr. Turano’s waterfront estate in Brooklyn (fabulous Brooklyn!), where they shared living space with Turano’s mother and brother. No word yet, but it’s assumed that they were all in on this corruption equals big fat cash scheme. Turano’s role in all this (well, his PG-13 role in all this), was to direct the dirty money to shell companies on Kruger’s behalf.
I just get a big old sad whiff from this story. Particularly, strangely enough, from the least salacious of the story’s details: Kruger didn’t socialize with anyone at work. He ate his lunches quietly by himself in the cafeteria, and listed his living quarters as being with his sister on Avenue L.
Ugh.
This would be sad even on a 30-year old guy. If I was siphoning millions left and right and dumping it into shell companies to build my fabulous wealth… I’d get my own fucking place! With my boyfriend! Closet or not. This extra family members living on top of each other thing is just so incestuous and arrested development.
And voting for ‘traditional marriage’ too, while doing all this. Now, he’s going to prison. Mr. Kruger, you win, you have officially wasted your life. You’re done.
4 comments
Michael Russo says:
May 11, 2012
LMAO! YOU’RE DONE! These people are stupid and sloppy! Ugh. Queens – of all places. That location has done nothing to improve its case on actually being decent. YIKES. They seriously voted against it? Douches.
Michael Russo says:
May 11, 2012
It seriously is tales from the closet! And LOL to the Mariah Carey photo – she does look like her!
Adam says:
May 12, 2012
A particularly craven level of hypocrisy. Good riddance!
¡Amigos Ultimos! | Stay on Fountain - Stay on Fountain says:
May 15, 2012
[...] week, I experienced a rush of shameful joy in the prison sentencing of two former New York senators. These guys are two of the few Democrats [...]